Final Thailand Musings

Getting to know the girls at Mojos (and one in particular) was always an adventure, and never a dull moment was had.  Whether I was singing with the band, dancing with the girls, or they were teaching me Thai words or I was teaching them English, I enjoyed many a grand evening.

The Thai people are known for being, and needing, “sanuk,” the Thai word for fun.  All over the world, girls just want to have fun. 

Seeing the girls deal with me was always funny.  To begin with, they all loved that I’m, well, fat.  They would all come over and rub my belly and giggle.  They asked me when the baby was due, and when I told them Gam had gotten me pregnant they all roared with laughter.  They would grab my… chest… ok, let’s just say it…my “man boobs,” then grab their own, and compare them for size.  My nickname at Mojos was Santa Claus.

 If a young, good looking man came on the video screen in the bar, and the girls started looking, Gam would turn away, put her arms around my middle, and say that young and good looking wasn’t for her, she liked bigger, older, men.   She meant it as a compliment; but of course it doesn’t quite come off that way.

 

One night, perhaps because I was feeding her too well, Gam had a little indigestion.  The girls all wanted to know the English word for what she was doing, so I told them…burp.  Well, they had a field day with that one.  Pretty soon there was a whole circle of them around me, all saying buuuurp loudly to each other, practicing the word, really struggling with it, putting their arms into it, straining their necks.  It was hilarious.

Even more hilarious though, was the night Gam had another problem, perhaps also related to eating too well.  We were in our usual circle, with Gam next to me and the other girls surrounding us, when Gam suddenly walked over to the other side of the room, stood there, and grinned sheepishly.  I had a pretty good idea what the problem was, but, just in case I didn’t, all the other girls wanted me to know just what was going on.  Apparently, someone had previously taught them the word “fart.” 

When I tried to tell them; that’s alright, I don’t need that much detail, they thought I didn’t understand, and of course, tried to explain it to me.  This involved miming and demonstrations.  They also knew the words “smell bad, ” and all held their noses just in case I didn’t grasp that.  By now I’m about ready to fall over I’m laughing so hard, but it gets better…Gam finally goes to the ladies room, and they wanted to explain that to me as well.  Gawd, I was afraid they were going to go in with her and fish a sample out to show me.

And in Thailand there is no political correctness.  Men are encouraged to admire women, and to find them sexy.  The girls would ask me if I thought they were sexy and beautiful, and when I told them they were, they beamed with pleasure instead of suing me for harrassment.  Thai women like being women, and they like men being men. Not a bad system, all in all.

From The Road

I am on my way to Port Huron, Michigan this morning, having left Lincoln Land in Florida yesterday afternoon about 3p.m.  I am driving Dad’s last car, the dark blue Town Car, which is returning home to Port Huron to stay, returning to sister Cindy’s vehicle inventory.

I write this morning from Cordele, Georgia, where it is quite hot.  It was near 100 yesterday afternoon in Northern Florida and Georgia, but Cindy will be pleased to know the air conditioner in the Lincoln kept it cool inside.

I hadn’t had time to check the weather before I left yesterday (I’ve only been home one week and already in that time was to Augusta, Georgia and back) and was appalled to discover overnight lows forecast for the 50s up in Michigan.  It is August right?  I’m not in another time warp am I? 

So I continue North, wondering just what 50s are going to feel like after months in the tropics.

Meet M.O.

Due to the chronic shortage in Bangkok of hot men like me,  I was forced, on occasion, to take two women out at a time .  One such night was the night Gam and I went to dinner at the Seafood Market, when her friend, M.O., another dancer at Mojos, came along with us. 

The Seafood Market, by the way, is an interesting place.  The restaurant is set up somewhat like, well, a seafood market.  You grab a cart or a basket, and go along the aisle, selecting fresh uncooked food that you’d like for dinner.  You then go to the checkout, take your bags back to your table, and the waitstaff comes and relieves you of your shopping, and asks how you’d like everything prepared. 

We had a great meal with prawns, fish, oysters, clams, and seafood salads, all very tasty, from the ingredients picked out by the girls.  But back to M.O.

    

In the above photo, M.O. is on the right in the right photo.  Like many ladies in Thailand, she has no boyfriend and no prospects.  She is 24 years old and cute as a button, and there is a reason I’m telling you all this.

You see, M.O. thinks I’m a real prize, and that Gam is very lucky.  She basically posed the age old question to me at dinner “Are there any more at home like you?” 

The bottom line is: M.O. wants me to help her find a man.  She wants me to show her picture around Florida; talk her up.  She says she just wants a man with “a good heart” and she’ll take good care of him.

And here’s a photo of her at work at Mojos:

The Grand Palace

As Gam and I continued our Thailand tour, she suggested we get together on her day off to see the Grand Palace.  Gam had never been there herself, as it turns out; I think there was some collaboration on the part of the female staff at Mojos on what to do to keep me entertained. (Hey, I want to keep them on their toes, so to speak)

The palace is really quite beautiful and impressive, and we had an absolutely perfect day weather wise to boot:

              

I committed a sartorial faux paus in my visit to the Palace…I wore shorts, which are not allowed.  But this is Thailand, and an opportunity to receive revenue is not missed….rental pants were available.  This is what I looked like in those:

The beauty of Thailand though, is you can dress like this and still get the hot chicks.

 

Immediately adjacent to the Palace is a massage school, which, in order to give the students practice, offers massage to the public at a reduced rate.  So Gam and I topped off our afternoon with a nice Thai massage.

Which means, of course, it must be time to eat.

Gam had a suggestion for that too…a new Korean restaurant, recently opened adjacent to Mojos.  Like our previous experience at MBK, it involved ordering raw food which was cooked at the table.  This time, though, the waitress cooked and Gam assisted.  The grill on the table was gas fired with the same briquets we have in our gas grills here.  I helped primarily by getting my chopsticks over to the grill to grab pieces of the rib-eye steak.

              

It was another fine meal.  And shortly thereafter, Apple chastised me for getting Gam “fat.”

 

 

    

Back Home, Gone Again

After an uneventful flight, with no late planes and no lost luggage (!) I arrived home to my house in Florida at 1:00 a.m. Tuesday morning.  Gam and I both woke up with colds Sunday morning in Bangkok, so I arrived quite sick, and quite deaf, my ears being totally plugged since Tokyo. 

After a whopping 31 hours at home, I’m gone again.  I slid behind the wheel of the dark blue Town Car this morning and drove to Augusta, Georgia, where I await Reg IV, who is picking me up for dinner in a few minutes.  His graduation is tomorrow morning from his final officer training school, then he moves on (after a quick trip to Michigan to fetch furniture) to Athens, Georgia, to begin his Masters studies at the University of Georgia at Athens. Not to mention following in his father’s footsteps by becoming a resident of Georgia.

Out Of Time

As this is posted, I am closing down and packing the computer.  At 6:00a.m. tomorrow morning,  7:00p.m. Sunday night in Florida, I’m on Northwest Airlines Flight 22 to Tokyo, then on to Detroit and finally to Tampa.

I leave immediately from Florida for Augusta Georgia, as Reg IV graduates officer training at Fort Gordon.  I am looking forward to seeing IV graduate, but am sad to be leaving Asia.  I leave behind many special memories.

Meeting the Family, The Conclusion

After lunch, and after the lunch dishes were washed and put away, our family adventure continued.  Back out to the road to hail two more taxis, we are off to see “three giant hats.”

As I tried to understand where we were going, it evolved that somehow the three giant hats involved elephants.   As it turns out, the word “hats” was supposed to be “heads.”  In fact, we were en route to the Erawan Museum, which is crowned with a massive carving of a giant three headed elephant.

The Erawan Museum Link

And, for Gam’s sake, I say “Wow!”

     Approaching the Museum

     The Elephant from underneath

The inside of this massive carving is hollow, and you climb to the top on a beautiful wood polished spiral staircase.  Much hilarity ensued as Gam’s family watched me make the climb.  Once there, there is a giant golden Budda inside a two or more story high room:

All in all, a lovely day, despite my lack of sleep the night before.  I never truly feel I’ve experienced a place until I’ve made friends there and visited peoples homes.  Living in hotels is an artificial experience,  never more so than in a third-world country.

Gam and I continued to see things together for the remainder of my stay.  When back in Florida, I hope to post a couple more stories and more photos.  But as this story is posted, I am on my way home.

Meeting the Family, Part 2

We are now all assembled and it is time for us to hail taxis again and proceed to the temple.  We are too large a party for one taxi, now comprised in addition to me, of Gam, her two sisters, the sister’s friend, her Aunt and her nephew.  A little too much for the Toyota Corolla, which is pretty much the standard taxi in this part of the world. 

Eventually, after several minutes of standing on the side of the road, an entertaining time all by itself as we are now miles from “downtown,” two taxis are arranged and we’re off.  The temple entrance is large and colorful:

The complex consists of a series of buildings and we have different duties to perform at different points.  After we enter, we walk along some past some food vendors and make various purchases. I think we’re buying food for ourselves.  We are not.  These are offerings for the monks. And unlike when we’re shopping, I’m allowed to pay for nothing, presumably because the donation must come from each of them directly.  We also look over some gift baskets, and a purchase is made of one containing various toilet articles and snacks. 

The food is then taken and arranged on plates set aside for this purpose.  This is for the monks meals.  The basket is presented during a prayer ceremony.  I participate in this, which requires me to squat down on the ground.  Fortunately, Gam and her sisters realize they’ll need to help me up, otherwise I’d still be there.

We also purchase bags of rice in addition to the other food, and this is offered by placing a small amount in each of many bowls lined up on a table.  We’re doing that here:

Gam’s Aunt is the woman behind me praying, one of Gam’s sisters is just visible behind me, and of course, Gam is in front of me.  Gam’s other sister took this photo.

It was an interesting outing for me, and I certainly knew I wasn’t at an Anglican church. 

Afterwards, we had coffee on a little floating platform on a canal, then we returned home in the taxis for a nap and lunch.

Gam and I took a nap here, until the rooster (look behind Gam) woke us up. 

Note also that this is tree branches covered with straw mats, and that although there is a roof of sorts over our heads, described previously, we are for all intents and purposes outdoors.  I did, however, rate a pillow, and two fans were carefully arranged to blow on me while we napped.  But it wasn’t a long nap, as lunch was ready and Gam and I were sleeping on the dining table.

I was more than a little concerned about lunch, for a whole series of reasons.  I certainly couldn’t refuse to eat, but I have no idea what we were eating, and didn’t fail to notice that the cooking utensils and dishes were all stored on a rusty metal shelf next to our sleeping mats.  (They were washed afterwards in a pail of what appeared to be rainwater)  I reasoned that, if need be, when I left the taxi could take me directly to the hospital. 

As it turned out, all was well.  I ate sparingly and had no issues at all. Here is our lunch:

And after lunch, we set off again, as it was time to see those “three giant hats,” and for me to say “Wow!”

That story will be told in Part 3.

Meeting The Family, Part 1

Last Friday here was a major Buddhist holiday, somewhat akin to Buddhist Lent.  As a result, Mojos was closed, and Gam planned to spend the day with several of her family members.  Discussing this all the night before at Mojos, it evolved to a point that an invitation was extended to me to join the days events.  I say evolved because the invitation began initally with this statement:  “We go see three giant hats and you will say Wow!”  Now who could turn down an invitation like that?

As I said, this conversation was taking place Thursday night, and as the evening wore on, the planning, and my subsequent briefings, both of which have now involved several of Gam’s friends, grow ever more complex.  There is some concern as to how I’ll do on the outing; after a lengthy discussion among the girls the electronic dictionary is produced, a Thai word is typed in and the English button pushed, and they show me the screen.  It reads “slum.” 

Apparently, the Aunt’s home, where we are to go the next morning, is, shall we say, modest.  I assure them I will be fine, and the planning continues.  Logistics are discussed; I am informed that Gam and her sister will call for me at my hotel at….6:00a.m.  Gam is to stay up all night, after leaving Mojos she will go fetch her sister, change and shower, and return for me.  I’m thinking…ok, I’ll get to hotel from Mojos at 1:30, I have to be up at 5:30; it’s only 4 hours for sleep, but I’ll manage. 

 It didn’t quite work out that way.  Somehow, after leaving Mojos and seeing Gam off on the back of Apple’s motorcycle, I returned to my room to discover the time was 3:35a.m.  How did that happen?  It’s not like it’s a long way, I can see the hotel from Mojos.  Apparently, there is some sort of time warp between my hotel and Mojos.  I am sure the wine had nothing to do with it.

In any event, Gam and her sister, and her sister’s girlfriend (we’re skipping over that story) arrive promptly at 6a.m., looking bright and chipper.  I am noticing in the mirror that my eyes match my shirt…both are red.  This all seemed a grand outing only hours before, but now, having been up all night and not quite sober, I question the wisdom of it all. 

But it’s too late now.  We all pile in a Toyota Corolla taxi and we’re off.  Out to the suburbs, parts of Bangkok I’ve never seen before, so  my fatigue is forgotten.  I’ve always been a nose pressed against the glass, taking it all in, kind of guy, and this is all scenes I’ve never seen before. 

After nearly an hour in light traffic, we arrive at the….well….slum.  The Aunt lives in a single story rowhouse type arrangement, but rowhouse is a generous term.  There is no door, only an open wire mesh type gate, which is unlatched by reaching inside.  Inside that is a room.  Bare cement floor and walls, no windows, corrugated tin roof.  It is dark so I cannot see well, which may be a blessing.  There are shelves and bars for hanging clothes, and a small table, I believe.

Continuing on, there is a second room much like the first.  The hong nam (bathroom) is off this room. This consists of a hole in the floor, and two plastic pails of water.  One has a dipper for flushing, another for washing. But the second room has a difference…there are only three walls.  The fourth wall is open to a type of porch, with no screens.  There is a platform here, of lashed together tree branches covered with straw mats.  The “roof” is a framework of old pipes tied together with rags, with a variety of roofing material…a scrap of plywood, a couple of advertising posters, a couple of pieces of cardboard.  I am wondering what this must be like in one of the torrential rain storms that appear here in the tropics, mercifully, it is a beautiful sunny day.

Now that I’m here, I meet Gam’s other sister, and her Aunt.  A nephew, about 7 years of age, is present as well as his father, Gam’s cousin, who has been up all night driving a taxi and is asleep.  I am seated on the straw mats as the final preparations are made for us all to depart for the nearby temple.  And, of course, still to come there is the matter of the three giant hats.

Gam Tells Her Story

The shopping expedition has come to an end, and Gam and I return to Mojos.  She scurries off to work with her booty; I cross the street to the hotel to freshen up before joining her at work for cocktails. 

The minute I arrive back at Mojos, M.E. ,the singer with the band, comes over; she wants to know all about our day from my perspective, as she’s already heard from Gam.  M.E., you might recall,  has served as a go between and translator for us at Mojos.  I might add, she, along with Apple, has apparently been serving as matchmaker as well. 

For at Mojos, Gam and I are already considered to be a couple.  In fact, we are described as “a lovely couple,” and the other girls all refer to Gam as my girlfriend.  (Not that that has stopped one of the others from attempting to move in on me) I’m not sure how we got to this point with the limited amount of time we’ve known each other and spent together thus far, but hey, this is Thailand.  I just try to go along with the local customs. I’m that kind of guy.

As the evening continues, I find myself surrounded by several of the coyote dancers when they’re not up dancing.  They’re all chattering away happily in Thai, I am enjoying my wine and the music.  Life is good.  But I begin to notice that I’m hearing Gam saying “Brown” a lot, or at least her version of Brown, which sounds something like B-lau-en. 

As the conversation continues and I start paying more attention, Gam is ever more animated. I am seated on a bar stool and she is standing next to me, one arm around me, the other waving in the air.  She is bouncing up and down, and it is Blauen this and Blauen that.  I realize she is telling the story of our day, and the other girls have now surrounded us in a semi-circle and are gazing at me in awe, their eyes big and round, so I’m guessing Blauen is getting a good review.

Why the awe?  Well, to begin with, this little expedition, while not particularly expensive to me, represented more than one month’s salary to them.  It is clear they believe Gam has struck gold, or at least gold in the form of a gold card. 

 

My suspicions as to the gist of the conversation are confirmed, when Gam, miming what I would describe as akin to pulling a gun from a holster, with her arm  fully outstetched in front of her, accompanies this gesture with two words I fully understand, as they’re pronounced in perfect English: “American Express!”