Back Home, Gone Again

After an uneventful flight, with no late planes and no lost luggage (!) I arrived home to my house in Florida at 1:00 a.m. Tuesday morning.  Gam and I both woke up with colds Sunday morning in Bangkok, so I arrived quite sick, and quite deaf, my ears being totally plugged since Tokyo. 

After a whopping 31 hours at home, I’m gone again.  I slid behind the wheel of the dark blue Town Car this morning and drove to Augusta, Georgia, where I await Reg IV, who is picking me up for dinner in a few minutes.  His graduation is tomorrow morning from his final officer training school, then he moves on (after a quick trip to Michigan to fetch furniture) to Athens, Georgia, to begin his Masters studies at the University of Georgia at Athens. Not to mention following in his father’s footsteps by becoming a resident of Georgia.

Out Of Time

As this is posted, I am closing down and packing the computer.  At 6:00a.m. tomorrow morning,  7:00p.m. Sunday night in Florida, I’m on Northwest Airlines Flight 22 to Tokyo, then on to Detroit and finally to Tampa.

I leave immediately from Florida for Augusta Georgia, as Reg IV graduates officer training at Fort Gordon.  I am looking forward to seeing IV graduate, but am sad to be leaving Asia.  I leave behind many special memories.

Meeting the Family, The Conclusion

After lunch, and after the lunch dishes were washed and put away, our family adventure continued.  Back out to the road to hail two more taxis, we are off to see “three giant hats.”

As I tried to understand where we were going, it evolved that somehow the three giant hats involved elephants.   As it turns out, the word “hats” was supposed to be “heads.”  In fact, we were en route to the Erawan Museum, which is crowned with a massive carving of a giant three headed elephant.

The Erawan Museum Link

And, for Gam’s sake, I say “Wow!”

     Approaching the Museum

     The Elephant from underneath

The inside of this massive carving is hollow, and you climb to the top on a beautiful wood polished spiral staircase.  Much hilarity ensued as Gam’s family watched me make the climb.  Once there, there is a giant golden Budda inside a two or more story high room:

All in all, a lovely day, despite my lack of sleep the night before.  I never truly feel I’ve experienced a place until I’ve made friends there and visited peoples homes.  Living in hotels is an artificial experience,  never more so than in a third-world country.

Gam and I continued to see things together for the remainder of my stay.  When back in Florida, I hope to post a couple more stories and more photos.  But as this story is posted, I am on my way home.

Meeting the Family, Part 2

We are now all assembled and it is time for us to hail taxis again and proceed to the temple.  We are too large a party for one taxi, now comprised in addition to me, of Gam, her two sisters, the sister’s friend, her Aunt and her nephew.  A little too much for the Toyota Corolla, which is pretty much the standard taxi in this part of the world. 

Eventually, after several minutes of standing on the side of the road, an entertaining time all by itself as we are now miles from “downtown,” two taxis are arranged and we’re off.  The temple entrance is large and colorful:

The complex consists of a series of buildings and we have different duties to perform at different points.  After we enter, we walk along some past some food vendors and make various purchases. I think we’re buying food for ourselves.  We are not.  These are offerings for the monks. And unlike when we’re shopping, I’m allowed to pay for nothing, presumably because the donation must come from each of them directly.  We also look over some gift baskets, and a purchase is made of one containing various toilet articles and snacks. 

The food is then taken and arranged on plates set aside for this purpose.  This is for the monks meals.  The basket is presented during a prayer ceremony.  I participate in this, which requires me to squat down on the ground.  Fortunately, Gam and her sisters realize they’ll need to help me up, otherwise I’d still be there.

We also purchase bags of rice in addition to the other food, and this is offered by placing a small amount in each of many bowls lined up on a table.  We’re doing that here:

Gam’s Aunt is the woman behind me praying, one of Gam’s sisters is just visible behind me, and of course, Gam is in front of me.  Gam’s other sister took this photo.

It was an interesting outing for me, and I certainly knew I wasn’t at an Anglican church. 

Afterwards, we had coffee on a little floating platform on a canal, then we returned home in the taxis for a nap and lunch.

Gam and I took a nap here, until the rooster (look behind Gam) woke us up. 

Note also that this is tree branches covered with straw mats, and that although there is a roof of sorts over our heads, described previously, we are for all intents and purposes outdoors.  I did, however, rate a pillow, and two fans were carefully arranged to blow on me while we napped.  But it wasn’t a long nap, as lunch was ready and Gam and I were sleeping on the dining table.

I was more than a little concerned about lunch, for a whole series of reasons.  I certainly couldn’t refuse to eat, but I have no idea what we were eating, and didn’t fail to notice that the cooking utensils and dishes were all stored on a rusty metal shelf next to our sleeping mats.  (They were washed afterwards in a pail of what appeared to be rainwater)  I reasoned that, if need be, when I left the taxi could take me directly to the hospital. 

As it turned out, all was well.  I ate sparingly and had no issues at all. Here is our lunch:

And after lunch, we set off again, as it was time to see those “three giant hats,” and for me to say “Wow!”

That story will be told in Part 3.

Meeting The Family, Part 1

Last Friday here was a major Buddhist holiday, somewhat akin to Buddhist Lent.  As a result, Mojos was closed, and Gam planned to spend the day with several of her family members.  Discussing this all the night before at Mojos, it evolved to a point that an invitation was extended to me to join the days events.  I say evolved because the invitation began initally with this statement:  “We go see three giant hats and you will say Wow!”  Now who could turn down an invitation like that?

As I said, this conversation was taking place Thursday night, and as the evening wore on, the planning, and my subsequent briefings, both of which have now involved several of Gam’s friends, grow ever more complex.  There is some concern as to how I’ll do on the outing; after a lengthy discussion among the girls the electronic dictionary is produced, a Thai word is typed in and the English button pushed, and they show me the screen.  It reads “slum.” 

Apparently, the Aunt’s home, where we are to go the next morning, is, shall we say, modest.  I assure them I will be fine, and the planning continues.  Logistics are discussed; I am informed that Gam and her sister will call for me at my hotel at….6:00a.m.  Gam is to stay up all night, after leaving Mojos she will go fetch her sister, change and shower, and return for me.  I’m thinking…ok, I’ll get to hotel from Mojos at 1:30, I have to be up at 5:30; it’s only 4 hours for sleep, but I’ll manage. 

 It didn’t quite work out that way.  Somehow, after leaving Mojos and seeing Gam off on the back of Apple’s motorcycle, I returned to my room to discover the time was 3:35a.m.  How did that happen?  It’s not like it’s a long way, I can see the hotel from Mojos.  Apparently, there is some sort of time warp between my hotel and Mojos.  I am sure the wine had nothing to do with it.

In any event, Gam and her sister, and her sister’s girlfriend (we’re skipping over that story) arrive promptly at 6a.m., looking bright and chipper.  I am noticing in the mirror that my eyes match my shirt…both are red.  This all seemed a grand outing only hours before, but now, having been up all night and not quite sober, I question the wisdom of it all. 

But it’s too late now.  We all pile in a Toyota Corolla taxi and we’re off.  Out to the suburbs, parts of Bangkok I’ve never seen before, so  my fatigue is forgotten.  I’ve always been a nose pressed against the glass, taking it all in, kind of guy, and this is all scenes I’ve never seen before. 

After nearly an hour in light traffic, we arrive at the….well….slum.  The Aunt lives in a single story rowhouse type arrangement, but rowhouse is a generous term.  There is no door, only an open wire mesh type gate, which is unlatched by reaching inside.  Inside that is a room.  Bare cement floor and walls, no windows, corrugated tin roof.  It is dark so I cannot see well, which may be a blessing.  There are shelves and bars for hanging clothes, and a small table, I believe.

Continuing on, there is a second room much like the first.  The hong nam (bathroom) is off this room. This consists of a hole in the floor, and two plastic pails of water.  One has a dipper for flushing, another for washing. But the second room has a difference…there are only three walls.  The fourth wall is open to a type of porch, with no screens.  There is a platform here, of lashed together tree branches covered with straw mats.  The “roof” is a framework of old pipes tied together with rags, with a variety of roofing material…a scrap of plywood, a couple of advertising posters, a couple of pieces of cardboard.  I am wondering what this must be like in one of the torrential rain storms that appear here in the tropics, mercifully, it is a beautiful sunny day.

Now that I’m here, I meet Gam’s other sister, and her Aunt.  A nephew, about 7 years of age, is present as well as his father, Gam’s cousin, who has been up all night driving a taxi and is asleep.  I am seated on the straw mats as the final preparations are made for us all to depart for the nearby temple.  And, of course, still to come there is the matter of the three giant hats.

Gam Tells Her Story

The shopping expedition has come to an end, and Gam and I return to Mojos.  She scurries off to work with her booty; I cross the street to the hotel to freshen up before joining her at work for cocktails. 

The minute I arrive back at Mojos, M.E. ,the singer with the band, comes over; she wants to know all about our day from my perspective, as she’s already heard from Gam.  M.E., you might recall,  has served as a go between and translator for us at Mojos.  I might add, she, along with Apple, has apparently been serving as matchmaker as well. 

For at Mojos, Gam and I are already considered to be a couple.  In fact, we are described as “a lovely couple,” and the other girls all refer to Gam as my girlfriend.  (Not that that has stopped one of the others from attempting to move in on me) I’m not sure how we got to this point with the limited amount of time we’ve known each other and spent together thus far, but hey, this is Thailand.  I just try to go along with the local customs. I’m that kind of guy.

As the evening continues, I find myself surrounded by several of the coyote dancers when they’re not up dancing.  They’re all chattering away happily in Thai, I am enjoying my wine and the music.  Life is good.  But I begin to notice that I’m hearing Gam saying “Brown” a lot, or at least her version of Brown, which sounds something like B-lau-en. 

As the conversation continues and I start paying more attention, Gam is ever more animated. I am seated on a bar stool and she is standing next to me, one arm around me, the other waving in the air.  She is bouncing up and down, and it is Blauen this and Blauen that.  I realize she is telling the story of our day, and the other girls have now surrounded us in a semi-circle and are gazing at me in awe, their eyes big and round, so I’m guessing Blauen is getting a good review.

Why the awe?  Well, to begin with, this little expedition, while not particularly expensive to me, represented more than one month’s salary to them.  It is clear they believe Gam has struck gold, or at least gold in the form of a gold card. 

 

My suspicions as to the gist of the conversation are confirmed, when Gam, miming what I would describe as akin to pulling a gun from a holster, with her arm  fully outstetched in front of her, accompanies this gesture with two words I fully understand, as they’re pronounced in perfect English: “American Express!”

On The Town With Gam, Part 3

We’ve now had a nice meal, I now have a Thai telephone number, and we have a nice electronic pocket dictionary to aid us in communication.  I thought this a pretty good haul for one day’s work, but Gam had other ideas.  After all, we both had to eat, the phone was for me, and the electronic dictionary didn’t count, since it was for us both to use.  In other words, we are now shopping for Gam.

Fair enough; I’ve enlisted her aid in the expedition and she’s been helpful and charming thus far.  And besides, from now on I’m going to become a Bangkok cliche, as Dean Barrett and I laughed about it over dinner a couple of nights later; a scene seen all over Bangkok…find the old guy with the wallet a comfortable chair while the young lady shops.

Inevitably, Gam paraded me past a couple of jewelry stores with sidelong glances in my direction, some batting of the eyes, a little massage of my back, and nods towards the counters.  I didn’t fall for it, and Gam abandoned that strategy.  We then stopped at a store that sold various and sundry items, with a woman standing out front demonstrating a curling iron.  More importantly, this store contained a wonderful, huge, leather, massage chair.  Clearly a good place to shop.  Although Gam and I have not reached a jewelry anniversary yet in my view, I figure a curling iron ought to be pretty safe.

So the girls spent considerable time chatting away in Thai and curling each others hair, and I considered buying the massage chair some jewelry. In due course, a bargain was struck;  it was explained to me that this was a really good deal, and we left with a curling iron for Gam and fond memories of the chair for me.

Where next?  Clothing of course.  Gam’s strategy improved here.  Find me a comfortable chair, and model proposed purchases.  Thus we found ourselves at the designer jeans counter.  Gam selected several pairs and began to try them on.  Of course, they needed to meet with my approval as well.  Lets see…they look like they’re painted on, and Gam’s little twirl and wiggle of her ahem… posterior in front of me while showing them to me is a nice touch…I’m all for trying on dozens of pairs.  Eventually, the favored pair is selected and then Gam asks, oh so sweetly, ”can hab?”  

Well, hell yes.

At this point, time is running out, as Gam is due at Mojos for work in about an hour.  So we head for a taxi.  My favorite part of the whole outing, though, was Gam’s retelling of her big day to all her friends at work later on in the evening.  And that’s a story for another day.

On The Town With Gam, Part 2

Having finished our fine dining experience, with Gam in charge of cooking (see Part 1) it was now time for us to shop. First on the agenda, a SIM card for my phone, so that I would have a local Bangkok telephone number. After all, I’m in big demand in this town.

The first, and apparently a very important step, when becoming “phoned” in Asia is the selection of the phone number. At the phone store, there is a list of available telephone numbers posted, with the pricing scale reflecting the desirability of the number. Some numbers cost thousands of baht. Gam studied the list carefully, pointing out different numbers to me that she fancied and getting my opinion. Of course, my opinion was “that one’s fine” since I didn’t have a clue. This went on for some time, as various numbers were considered and then rejected. Finally, the selection was made, and Gam was satisfied that I had a good number. It is, by the way, 0844993886. Apparently, the repetition…44…99…88 is desirable, as is the relation between the 3 and the 6. The 08 prefix is common to all numbers. When Gam put her number in my phone, I learned her number has the 99 combination repeated twice, so our numbers have something in common.

With that transaction completed, and me now reachable in the world of Thai girls, it was time to move on to…more shopping. Gam, of course, had previously noted that I hadn’t brought her back a present from Dhaka, and it was time for me to pay the price for that faux paus.

At dinner, we had discussed an idea that I was in favor of, which was getting a Thai-English Dictionary to help us communicate. I was thinking we needed to find a bookstore. Silly me. Gam promptly marched us to an electronics store, and we went straight to the “talking dictionary” counter.

If we could have a discussion at dinner, you might wonder why we need this device. Well, let me assure you, I’m using the word “discussion” very liberally. Our discussions involve single word sentences, pointing, miming, weird facial contortions, and some frustration. Gam tries mightily though, I’ll give her that. She’s got my first name down pretty good, provided my first name was hedge. She prefers, since that’s very hard for her to say, to call me Brown.  However, she’s managed to find three syllables in Brown, no mean feat given that none of the syllables include the letter “r.”

As a result, colorful doesn’t even begin to describe our conversations.

Meanwhile, back at the talking dictionary counter, a selection has been made and an American Express card produced.  Remember that card, it’s not the last time you’ll hear of it before we reach the end of this tale. 

So what’s next?  Why, more shopping of course.  Which we’ll talk about in Part 3.

On the Town With Gam, Part I

On my return to Bangkok Friday night and the resulting reunion with Gam at Mojos, it was agreed we would meet at my hotel on Sunday and go shopping together.  I wanted to get what is called here a handphone, or more accurately a SIM card, to put inside a back-up Motorola cell phone I already had, and had brought with me from home.  That way, I’d have a local Bangkok telephone number to give out, and I’d be able to receive numbers from others.

 Thai girls are handphone experts.  For a Thai girl, her handphone will be her most expensive, and most prized, possession.  She will know all the features, all the models, and all the prices, and will always be coveting a new one, as the phones are a status symbol.  Indeed, already half the girls at Mojos want me to bring them iPhones from the USA when I return, given that an iPhone here costs three times as much. 

 

And it goes without saying that they’re not impressed with my pair of clunky old Motorola phones (My US phone works here too, so I’m now carrying two phones).  I found it fascinating, I might add, that just as I can identify automobiles at a glance, they all knew at a glance that my phones were Motorolas, and wanted to know the reason I chose Motorola phones. 

 

So with Gam as my guide, since I didn’t have the first clue about how to go about getting a SIM card in Thailand, we headed off to shop at MBK.  MBK is an enormous, multi-storey shopping center where everything known to man can be purchased.  It was handy to have her along, as she can deal with the “Thai stuff” for me, even beyond the phone issue.  First of which, is taxis.  She can hail a taxi, have a price negotiated, and have us on our way in the time it would take me to squint down the street and try to figure out if the oncoming Toyota Corolla is in fact a taxi.  After which I’d be charged twice as much.

 

On arrival at my hotel, Gam had announced she was hungry.  I don’t think I’ve ever met a Thai girl who wasn’t hungry. It is simply amazing how much food a 95 pound Thai girl can put away.  So it was agreed our first stop would be for food, and Gam suggested barbeque.  Now, barbeque sounds good to me, but I know that this is Asia, and the nearest Sonny’s is 10,000 miles away.  So it was with a mixture of curiosity and trepidation that I agreed to her choice of restaurant.

 

As it turned out, it was not a bad meal, and it was completely unlike barbeque as we know it.  You order raw food and cook it yourself, right there on the table, on an electric grill like device.

 

 

 

  

The restaurant was right at the MBK shopping center.  The menu was all in Thai; Gam merrily ordered away, and within minutes we had enough food at the table to last, by my estimation, about a month. We had a tray of mushrooms, a tray of beef and pork, a spicy somtam salad, a tray of prawns, chicken, and fish, and a tray of vegetables.  The pictures (click to enlarge)show some of the dishes, and Gam at work cooking them for us.  She also showed me how to make up our dipping sauce (we each had our own bowl), which was a typically Thai peanut based sauce, to which you added chilies, raw garlic, and squeezed in lime, to taste; all brought to you in little individual cups.   I put all the garlic in mine and a wee bit of the hot chilies; Gam put all her chilies in hers and all the rest of my chilies too.  Thais like food spicy.  The cabbage in the photos is not just garnish; a pitcher of soup broth is on the table, which you pour into the trough around the grill, then add the cabbage you see on the plates, and that becomes a soup which the juices from the cooking food drains into as well. 

 

We did a fine job emptying the platters.  I don’t recall what the price of the meal was, it seems it was around 900 baht, which is less than $30 US, and that included our drinks as well. 

 

Thus fed, we were ready to commence shopping.  That adventure will be detailed in Part 2.

 

 

Retired, Again

 

 Friday 11 July rolled around at last, my brief return to the working world was at an end, and I boarded a Thai airways jet and returned to the Big Mango.  Back to Livingstones Lodge, my little boutique hotel in Soi 33, and in due course, across the street to Mojos to hold my second retirement party. 

 

I wondered…would anyone remember me? 

 

Of course, there is no great suspense as to what happened anymore, for anyone who has already looked at the Facebook photos, as I’ve let the cat, or in this case Gam, out of the bag, as she appears in photos since I’ve been back.  I have to be careful about using that phrase with cat, as Cat is another woman I know who works here at Livingstones.

Anyway, when I strolled in the door at Mojos on my return Friday night, M.E., the singer, was tuning up with the band and immediately beamed a big smile and waved.  My back rubbing waitress came over and gave me a hug, then M.E. came off the bandstand and did the same.  And a few minutes later, Gam came through the door, on a path that would take her right by my chair.  I looked up and smiled.

She stopped in her tracks and squealed.

 

And the old fat guy was back.

 

I’m sure I must have had a good time the rest of the evening, since I don’t remember much of it, and M.E., Gam, Apple and others  all reported having hangovers the next day.   I do recall that at one point, Gam was sitting on my lap in her black leather hot pants with a little white bunny tail; M.E., with her beautiful voice, carefully honed by whiskey and cigarettes, started belting out Amy Winehouse’s “Rehab;” and I thought to myself:

 

You gotta start looking at apartments here.